Your Chance to Win!

Ex-Flappy here. Now that I get to log on under my own name, I don’t get italicized. Though I know Peter loves italicizing. And adding smart quotes and em-dashes.

Anyway, status is good. I went on a mammoth walk yesterday, up and down the Santa Cruz harbor, through the gulch, and up to my dad’s house, with a stop on the way for a berry malt at the Foster’s Freeze. I’m not feeling any ill effects today, surprisingly. I’m also nearly weaned off the Vicodin, which I know some people would think is silly and a waste—but honestly, Vicodin isn’t any fun when you actually need it. Damn natural opioids.

So now that my stamina is improved, I have time to fixate on the smaller things: like how all the skin on my torso is flaking off. I guess they swabbed me very heavily in the OR. Also, how I have this gross knobby scab at the bottom of my incision, and it was growing out all curly-wurly, like a pig’s tail. As a copy editor, I thought of it as a comma, until I chipped off the pointy part. The nurse said it was generated by the knot at the bottom of my dissolving stitches—excuse me, sutures.

Other small details: the hospital bills are starting to arrive!

Here’s where the fun starts: Guess just how much my 12-page bill from UCSF comes to. The closest answer (over or under—this isn’t The Price Is Right) and you win...uh, a big bag of saline syringes...or perhaps a home blood lab in a box? I’ll think of something good. Medical professionals may enter, but may be disqualified—this is really an educational effort for those who may be health-care “naive,” as they say in the biz. [Ed note: Peter here. I posted about the 12-page bill a few days ago. It somehow disappeared… blogspot ain’t perfect. A damn good post, too, if I do say so myself. It included the bottom line and a few highlights. If you saw the post and know the answer, you’re obviously disqualified, too!]

Some specs, to help you in your estimating: total hospital stay was 8 nights, with 4 of those nights in intensive cardiac care, and 4 nights in a private regular room. Operating room costs are included, but I don’t think the surgeon’s bill is. To give you an idea of the facilities, see my hospital review on Roving Gastronome.

Hint: It cost way more than 8 days at the Waldorf-Astoria, that’s for sure.